Another victory although the score line flatters Melrose because we dominated the whole game and created loads of chances which brings me to the reason for us not banging in more ... constipation up front! Captain Flicky had a good game even though, or perhaps because he was wearing Debbie's knickers for a face mask.
Here is a picture of Bill's regular mask.
Apparently the face masks and knickers are in the same spot in the Bostridge castle so it's an easy mistake to make. The highlight for the Flickster was definitely a perfectly executed back pass that split the Melrose defense like a knife through butter ... a hot knife at that! Rob had a good game and nearly scored when he blasted one off the post in the second half. I did hear someone say to Jan that Rob did not look happy, to which she replied "well, he should be happy" ... I don't know what that meant and guessed that Jan had dubbin'd Rob's football boots for him. According to everyone else on the sideline I was way off!
Cain had one attempt cleared off the line ... which drew Captain Flicky to issue his "chocolate fireguard" comment ... "he's about as useful as a chocolate fireguard!!" Unfortunately the Captain did not use some of other favorites like "put a red hat on it" or knock it "around the horn" which I believe is a nautical reference about rounding the tip of South America. You know what though ... I could be wrong on this guess? I will make a note to myself to clear this up with Bill.
Taso scored two and took his shirt off thrice, realized it was chilly and quickly put it back on. One more goal however and he would have been down to his skivvies in a flash. The second goal was scored after pulling his hammy ... and I do want to point out that this is not a euphemism for a Grecian sex move involving relations with a farm animal. Bobby scored a nice one with his melon off a curling cross from Pat. The cross was perfect and Pat made it with short sleeves, which I think is noteworthy. At one point in the match I counted six of our players sporting short sleeves and only two of theirs. Some football pundits don't think that the number of short sleeved players is relevant but let's face it ... these people just don't understand football like I do.
I had any number of sideline punters feel the soft lining of my new jacket although Gedwood the northern bastard continually refused until right near the end of the game when he furtively copped a feel. He did look a bit sheepish but agreed that the lining was very soft ... he said as much ... "yeah, it's soft ... just like you." Taso had no qualms whatever when he felt the soft lining ... but I felt strangely violated.
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