The beast has been slain! Celtic beats Stoneham 3-2 !!!!!

Celtic beat Stoneham today and I'm thinking that it is because we scored more goals than they did. Yiannis Moorhen has reviewed my findings and concurs with said findings.

We closed them down from the start to the finish across the whole pitch, they had no time on the ball and could not play their game. Our tackles had bite, our goals were clinical and we had belief and everyone played well ... but it was the "belief" that really did it ... that and the fact that we scored more goals than them .. but mainly it was BELIEF.

We scored first with Rob putting one in the back of the old onion bag. He scored with this foot (see pic below) ... as you can see all too well, one of the toenails is horribly disfigured and apparently Rob drilled a hole in it to release a geyser of blood that made his dog barf. I am submitting this image to the New England Journal of Medicine as an example of horribly disfigured human toe.

Oy gevalt.

The second came from Dimos and I don't remember much about it although I do know that it was a cracker .... this just in ... it was a bloody cracker. The third goal came from Wilberforce McCarthy who was sent through with an incisive pass (from horrid toe man I believe) ... Will took a couple of touches, did not go all "twinkle toes" but simply slotted low and hard into the back of the old onion bag with his left peg and without so much as a by your leave.

Here is a picture of Will recreating the exact move that was his goal.

 Both of their goals were the result of mistakes at the back but we always led and there was no question that we would prevail ... no question at all. Frank was in the sticks and made some great saves. The media reported that one of the Stoneham players made the following comment ... "we woz bloody knackered chasing you lot all over the park ... we were up and dan the flanks like a tarts knickers" ... the player in question is from Canvey Island I believe. When I was a lad back in the old country we used to say that Canvey was the carbunkle on the backside of Britain.

The three goal scorers sporting libations ... left to right: Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

We play Andover on Tuesday under the lights and I'm going on the record right now by stating that we will win ... three nil!