Game 6 versus North Andover ... Celtic move to top of the table.

Let's start with the pub celebrations at 466 where the beer flowed like wine and the pizza flowed like wine too ... piping hot, non liquid, crusty wine with goat cheese on top. Celtic are big fans of the goat cheese despite Captain Flicky's protestations.  

Caino the chairman of Vanderlay Industries giving the thumbs up sign after signing up Sam as his latex salesman.

Derek tried some mind games by sitting right next to me and drinking a beer that shall remain nameless. I averted my eyes but my heart knew the evil brew was close and it gave me shpilkes. Consumption of such a crap beer is a sin in the old country and would get you placed on a beer offenders registry. I made allowances because Derek did chase their forward around all evening and sustained an almighty whack in the calf that went into spasm ...a spasm that went to his brain in the pub. Look at that face ... the madness is right there in his mince pies.

Anyway, moving on to the game. It was not a game of three halves, it was a game of two halves. In the first half they were better than us and they scored but we were not ourselves ... there was complacency and that is not us. Captain Flicky knew it and went into Mourinho mode at half time, rallied the troops with an uplifting "I had a dream"-ish speech. We came out like a rat out of an aqueduct and pressed Andover hard and played with a much higher line. Sam found himself in the right place at the right time off a corner and belted one into the back of the old onion bag. Time stood still after this as the ball squirted around the box and presented itself perfectly for Tony ... who promptly dispatched it into the night sky .... it was a shocker and Tony is getting counseling for missing a sitter. Towards the end of the game there were a series of Barcelona-mid-season-form-ish passes involving Cain, Pat and Rob who carved open the Andover defense with a through ball to Caino who dispatched the orb into the net like a champ. Caino peeled away to celebrate in style and the crowd went wild. Andover were pretty knackered in the third half but did cause some consternation at the back ... consternation not constipation! They hit the post and the bar but Frank the cat swatted away everything else in his usual commanding style. There were some fistycuffs on the Andover bench with a couple of their chaps throwing wobblers ... always a good sign for us.

We moved into top spot and there was talk of the play offs. Next up is Peabody and I'm predicting a goal fest.

The beast has been slain! Celtic beats Stoneham 3-2 !!!!!

Celtic beat Stoneham today and I'm thinking that it is because we scored more goals than they did. Yiannis Moorhen has reviewed my findings and concurs with said findings.

We closed them down from the start to the finish across the whole pitch, they had no time on the ball and could not play their game. Our tackles had bite, our goals were clinical and we had belief and everyone played well ... but it was the "belief" that really did it ... that and the fact that we scored more goals than them .. but mainly it was BELIEF.

We scored first with Rob putting one in the back of the old onion bag. He scored with this foot (see pic below) ... as you can see all too well, one of the toenails is horribly disfigured and apparently Rob drilled a hole in it to release a geyser of blood that made his dog barf. I am submitting this image to the New England Journal of Medicine as an example of horribly disfigured human toe.

Oy gevalt.

The second came from Dimos and I don't remember much about it although I do know that it was a cracker .... this just in ... it was a bloody cracker. The third goal came from Wilberforce McCarthy who was sent through with an incisive pass (from horrid toe man I believe) ... Will took a couple of touches, did not go all "twinkle toes" but simply slotted low and hard into the back of the old onion bag with his left peg and without so much as a by your leave.

Here is a picture of Will recreating the exact move that was his goal.

 Both of their goals were the result of mistakes at the back but we always led and there was no question that we would prevail ... no question at all. Frank was in the sticks and made some great saves. The media reported that one of the Stoneham players made the following comment ... "we woz bloody knackered chasing you lot all over the park ... we were up and dan the flanks like a tarts knickers" ... the player in question is from Canvey Island I believe. When I was a lad back in the old country we used to say that Canvey was the carbunkle on the backside of Britain.

The three goal scorers sporting libations ... left to right: Dewey, Cheatham and Howe.

We play Andover on Tuesday under the lights and I'm going on the record right now by stating that we will win ... three nil! 

Game five-ish versus Andover

What can I tell you ... this one was a bit of a dogs dinner.

Loads of our chaps were down in Myrtle Beach for the Long Haddock's annual golf fest. Nevertheless we showed up ready to play and so did they ... or so we thought? The ref did not show up so Yiannis Moorhen volunteered to officiate and both teams accepted that the game would count. Play started and it was a fairly even encounter until somewhere around minute 35 when there was a clash of melons. Paschal the international man of mystery collided with Keith Nichols from Andover and Keith came down hard and started bleeding profusely from the temple. The game stopped and an ambulance was called. Keith appeared to need stitches and was badly bruised. Paschal seemed to be fine although some were concerned that he was cackling like a crazy man ... however someone pointed out that was his normal laugh.

The Borquemeister showed up!

Sam seducing Dimo.

At this point everything went weird. Andover downed tools and called an end to the game and then a protracted negotiation ensued. I won't bore you with the details but they wanted a 0-0 tie to be the result and we wanted a replay. Captain Flicky came back from Myrtle and went to work on brokering a deal and we replay the match on Tuesday ... Captain Flicky strategic mastermind and ... master negotiator.