If footy be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it so that surfeiting I may sicken and so die!
Brian Shakespeare from Basildon in Essex.
Up early. Tinkle. Shuffle around a bit. Make small poo. Drink juice, brush teeth and make another more substantial poo. Out the door. When I arrived at the pitch some of the boys are ready to go ... here is a picture of the early morning crew. I know that you are thinking ... looks like a work release program from the local penitentiary.
It's a nice day in New England ... sunny and mild. Yup ... Sunday morning footy is here again and it's the season opener against Peabody. Captain Flicky distributes all new kit including warm up jackets with the name of the team on the back. There was talk of a promotion for CF to Brigadier Bostridge for coming through with the nice new duds.
The warm up jackets are virgin white and Caino was the first to befoul/violate/besmirch his jacket with marinara sauce during the early stages of the post match feasting. Captain Gilfeather supplied the victuals ... sausages and meatballs ... and they hit the spot. Bwian (Wearly Centuwian) Sweeney supplied the suds and they were plentiful and wet.
Celtic played with poise for the entire match. Bagged three, conceded none and took all of the points. It was a bit of stroller and perhaps we should have bagged a few more goals. Peabody caused us no problems and I don't think they had an actual shot on goal. Our first was scored by Rob Lebel who went on a mazy run right down the center of the park, slotted home with ease and wheeled away to soak up the applause of the capacity crowd. Rob did look a bit like Georgie Best in his glory days. Number two was scored from a corner taken by this Limey. The ball lofted over everyone and the keeper took an air swipe at it but it dropped perfectly for Dimos who just stroked it into the net with his left peg. Number three was nodded in by Andy with his melon. It was late in the game and Andy moved quite a way up the field from his center back spot .... some say he was actually standing in the goal but the rules committee did credit him for putting one in the back of the old onion bag.
Peabody are a bit of a mystery ... some skillful players many of whom were beaten as children and play a dirty bad tempered form of the game. Their number ten (real name actually is "Number Ten" because he is the 10th of 11 kids) was red carded deep into the second half and I think the reason was that he was behaving like a wanker .... which is a red card offense in any language. I'm going out on a limb and predict that Peabody will be going down to D2 this year.
That's it from the grassy knoll.
Hugh Jorgan.
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