Evolution secures play off footy!

We rose at first light and sallied forth to Lexingon for an early kick off. Despite the ungodly hour we were loaded with players raring to go on the frosty pitch. Captain Flicky lined us up 4-4-2 and after five minutes we were ahead. I don't know who scored or if it was an OG ... the peanut gallery concluded that the slow roller was a scruffy gift. Twenty minutes later Pat smacked one into the corner of the net. They pulled one back in the second half but we were not to be denied. We closed up shop and secured the play off spot.

For me, the best part of the match was when the ref insisted that a free kick had to be retaken three times .... because Ian quoted some Python .... 

"Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade."

Evolution thrashes Seadogs 2-1 in game 8 Fall 2022 season

I took extensive notes during this match with particular focus on pass completion. I was somewhat distracted by catching a glimpse of Boomer's distended testicle and shrunken toe so my numbers may be a bit skew whiff. Here are my findings. We completed nine passes and four of them went directly to one of our players. Three of these passes were immediately passed to the Seadogs. Alarmingly Captain Flicky made no back passes and drew no cards for dissent despite hurling abuse at a number of Seadogs and the ref. Captain Flicky's insult completion rate was an impressive 98%. My stats team has concluded that if we can pass like the Captain can cuss, we will win the playoffs! We scored two in the first half with Paschal and Ricardo hitting the back of the old onion bag .... both were dispatched without so much as a "by your leave" and with "aplomb" and with "alacrity" and with "malice aforethought" and with some other clever words that do not come to mind right now. The Seadog goal came late in the second half and put the cat amongst the pigeons briefly, however for most of the game we were in control and looked a bit like Barce in mid season form. There was some loss of control after the game that I believe was due to the tequila that was being passed around.

I noticed that Gedwood the Northern Bastard was invisible for this game .... possibly because he was at Kyle's game in NY but more likely because he is lacking in moral fiber .... this, of course, is because he is from the north! JB was sidelined with a bad back because he schlepped a fridge into a crawl space on Saturday. Tom's dodgy back is due to schlepping a fridge into his attic some time ago and Blanchy's twisted his ankle is from a bar fight with a fridge. The Gilf defibrillated all injured players for good measure and gave that pesky testicle an extra jolt!

I am aiming to play a bit next Sunday and then I'm seriously gonna try for three beers .... in a row! Someone should bring a kiddie pool for George's kite surfing demo.

Earnest Scribbler.

PS .... true fact .... 80% of the nuts that squirrels hide, they cannot find.