Game two - Celtic thrashes Marblehead to a 2-2 tie

I made two poops, jumped in the jam jar and drove to DHS whilst listening to the latest Brexit news on a rather pleasant April morning. Here is how the game went ... we trailed by one, pulled one back, then trailed by one and pulled one back. At the end of the day a tie was a fair result especially as, once again, we were missing half of the team and even the players that showed up were injured or hung over. Lesly scored the first goal and I can't tell you a thing about it other than it went in. Cain got the second five minutes from the final whistle and it was a belter. We started with a 4-5-1 line up and played pretty well throughout which is quite astonishing given our shortage of players. After the match Doug Vee served three different types of calzone, laughed at my daft jokes and told detective tales in a really loud voice which is, without a doubt the best way to finish up a Sunday morning game. The beer flowed like wine (I know, I know that I have used this joke before ... but it's one of my favorites) which was complimented by boxes and boxes of wine and heaps of nips. Let me explain ... Tom opened up the back of his car and invited everyone to help themselves to the multiple bottles of wine that were stashed within... for some reason the stuff had to be lifted. Tom once again proved that he is a great addition to the team ... oh, and he's a good keeper. Lesly showed up with a trash bag full of nips (a brother in law apparently works for the airlines and evidently pilfers the stuff on a regular basis) and again everyone was instructed to load up.

First game of the 2019 spring season ... Celtic beats Crapoli 2-1

There was an air of trepidation before kick off because we were missing multiple players who were either travelling the globe or were injured or were having boils lanced. We kicked off with 11 and fifteen minutes after the start the Gilf showed up after fighting off a bout of food poisoning that would have hobbled a horse. Captain Flicky set us up 4-5-1 with instructions to keep our shape at all costs. Crapoli had a ton of quality players but we started OK and this Limey bastard slotted one through for Caino who spotted the keeper off his line, leaving the near post open. Cain quickly assessed the situation and put the ball right in the sweet spot from a very tight angle. Unexpectedly we found ourselves ahead. Crapoli did draw even with a penalty from a dodgy call and we were all square at the half. Doug Vee settled things from a direct free kick just outside the box in the second half. The ball took a slight deflection off Daryl's shoulder but the goals committee is giving the goal to Mr Viggliolottalinguinewidplennyasauce.

Everyone worked their socks off and played their positions almost perfectly. Crapoli created chances but we kept our shape so well that they could not take them. Tom was magnificent in goal and proved that the massive transfer fee (one light beer and a slice of pizza) was money well spent. When we got our foot on the ball we kept it with some nice passing that looked very much like Barcelona in mid season form.

We retired to the parking lot and feasted on Captain Flicky Chile which we washed down with some fine suds supplied by JB. Captain Flicky passed around eclairs for dessert and Caino ate fifteen and vomited all the way back to Salem.