The end of the road - semi final of the play offs - Celtic go out on penalties!!!

It was a freezing cold morning and windy and the sun was blinding and there were patches of ice on the pitch and it was cold and a gaggle of our players were missing and they didn't have good excuses and it was cold and the goalmouths were sorta frozen and it was cold.

The missing players will remain nameless because to divulge their names would be socially unacceptable. However it was decided that the group should be termed ... THE WANKERS for ease of recognition. After the game there were lots of comments like this:

"We would have easily won if those wankers showed up today."
"We'd have killed GPS had it not been for those wankers."
"Those wankers are effing wankers."

The WANKERS are all lacking in moral fiber and unlike Rob continue to be bed wetters into their 50's.

This just in ... be careful because I just got word that a Russian hacker got into the blog and is threatening to reveal the names of the wankers ............

hello ... 
hello mates ... 
hello chaps ... 
Trump is Wanker ... and so are ANDY, DOUG, JB, MIKE AND FRANK
They have lacking moral fiberz 

My electric computer screen just went all fuzzy btw. Anyway ... moving on to the match. We started confidently and moved the ball around well. GPS had some useful players but after ten minutes or so it was clear that we could win the game. Pat took a corner and curled it straight into the net by the near post ... we were ahead. They managed to pull one back ... a belter from outside the box that was unstoppable. We ended regular time tied at one apiece and went into extra time. In the second period Dimos sent Pat through and he slotted into the net with five minutes left to play. We were going to the final and just had to play out the last few minutes .... but they equalized with the freakiest of goals with about forty seconds on the clock so we went to penalties. I won't go into the details of the shoot out because it is just too painful.

Captain Flicky served hot chile and warm bread and Rob the retired bed wetter opened up the tailgate of his truck to reveal a wide offering of beers that clearly accounted for the whole spectrum of drinkers who battled so bravely on the frozen tundra. We were deflated because we were the better team and we should have won. We created more chances than GPS and their keeper made a few impressive saves but you know what .... we showed them a thing or two!

It was a good season and we won the division.

Game ten - who gets all the marbles?

The stage was set ... a win against the North Shore Internationals and we would top the division. Captain Flicky took control and spoke from the gut ... he used words like honor, code, loyalty ... he used these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something that looked just like a football goal ...  well not really but Captain Flicky runs his team how he runs his team and he eats breakfast next to 4000 Mancunians by the Sea who are trained to kill him so the North Shore Internationals don't make him nervous. Yeah, that's what he said .. something verbatim right along those lines-ish.

We could not be sure if NS came to play or just wanted a kick around. There was nothing on the line for them and they acted all casual but in a pre-match chat with one of their chaps I realized that they were bluffing ... they came to play and they had plenty of skilled players and a very good keeper ... this was not going to be a stroll in the park. We had the numbers but one of our soldiers was looking a bit peaky ... young Rob the bed wetter had been probed in the hooby wotty just a few hours earlier. The narcotics were still in his system but he was gonna play no matter what. Rob the beast, chased down everything in his usual style but with a bit more mustard. We pressed them hard for the whole first half but could not break them down. We pressed them harder in the second half and finally got our noses in front. Hedge crossed one into the box and Blanchy nodded it into the back of the old onion bag with about ten minutes left on the clock. We thought that the job was done but they got a disputable free kick outside the box, the ball was launched into the box and hit the underside of the bar and squirted out to some lucky bastard who simply toe poked it into the back of our net. It was a freaky goal that they did not deserve. There were five minutes left to play and we threw everything at them but could not break the deadlock. Oy gevalt ... we missed our opportunity to take top spot.

We retired to the rubber for a few tumbles and lamented the tie which meant that we finished second to Marblehead and would have to go to Concord and play our bogey team on their turf pitch that was the size of a polo field ... or so we thought. We woke to the flurry of emails on Thursday morning that confirmed that were were champions of division one north by virtue of the nth tie breaker rule ... penis size!!!! Our willies were just a bit bigger than the Marblehead tadgers so we got the top spot. As the crowned champions of division one north we would now host GPS on our fortress grass pitch on Sunday morning. One minor side/foot note is that half of our team is going to be away in Nashville to watch the Pats ... don't even get me started on that one!

Game 9 ... Celtic 4 - Boxford 2

It was critical that we win this game and we did. It went like this ... we scored, we scored, they scored, they scored ... we got the willies at this point but ... then ... we scored and we scored again. Paschal got two by being at the right place at the right time, Rob the bed wetter scored a belter and Caino got his melon on to a Nigel Hedge left footed cross for number four. Job done. We adjourned to the parking lot and feasted on various things that give me gas ... but don't get me wrong ... this is not a bad thing. JB provided the victuals and he did a fine job. I just could not stop loading up on the beans. Last night I had Indian food so I should be farting like a bison by nightfall! Lesly supplemented the beer selection with paint stripper mixed with cinnamon.

I had an interesting bench conversation with Lesly, Ludger and Doug. The thrust of the conversation was about the merits of training ... running, biking and generally doing strenuous things to stay in shape for footy. Lesly mentioned that the Docs that he works with all advise against this kind of training and suggest swimming instead. Doug thought that swimming was terribly boring ... a valid point to which I added that the last time I did it I got absolutely soaking wet. I thought that this was a rather silly comment on my part but it got Doug on the funny bone and he staggered around muttering "I got soaking wet" under his breath like a crazy person. Of course this is nothing new ... he is a bonafide crazy person.

On Wednesday we play the North Shore International men of mystery under the lights. A win gives us top spot for the first time ever. NS got thrashed by Marblehead and I predict that we will thrash them again on Wednesday. Rob is having a colonoscopy on Wednesday morning ...

 ..... which means that if he does play he will be playing with anger issues.

Why do I mention this? I don't know ... I have to fill this stupid blog with something.