I forgot Captain Flicky's ball sack and Celtic gives Stoneham a 4-1 spanking.

I forgot Captain Flicky's ball sack and there really is no excuse for this. I plan to give myself a damned good talking to and will stress the need to turn over a new leaf and get my act together so you should see a striking turnaround forthwith. This game was a big one ... bigger than any of the previous games ... about 8% bigger. We knew that a win would keep us in the three way race for the playoffs and anything less would leave us right up the swanny. BTW the swanny is a river in the United States, the Suwannee. Where am I going with this? I don't know but I do know that this game represented high drama and the aquatic reference is just silly!

So here is what happened ... we got off to a flying start with immediate high pressing that almost paid off with a goal in the first couple of minutes. We were all over them like a cheap suit. Stoneham were rocking and we were off to a flyer. The early pressure resulted in a few opportunities for us and the breakthrough came with a goal from this Limey ... a nice pass across the box from someone (possible Grubor), I took a touch and drilled one low and hard into the far left corner with the right foot ... game on. They equalized about ten minutes later but it was no more than a blip in our fortunes. We scored from a short corner from moi to Doug Vee who fizzed one into the box, there was a scramble and the ball deflected onto the underside of the bar and into the back of the old onion bag. In the interest of accuracy there was talk of the ball coming off Cain's melon and there was also talk of it being an OG but I am giving it to young Douglas even though I don't have the right to make such decisions. We went into the half with our tails up which accounts for the strong odor that I initially thought was from the fresh mulch being spread nearby. Captain Flicky delivered an impassioned half time speech laced with Churchillian references ... we shall fight them on the seas and oceans ... etc. Paschal was welling up with emotion. We had played some nice footy and the boys believed that there was more to come.

In the second half we banged in two more ... Rob got his arse into the box and was first to a loose ball which he dispatched into the back of the old onion bag like nobody's business. Our fourth goal came off a nice arcing cross to Dori who stood unmarked in the box and just had to nod it in the goal ... he then turned, smiled and waved to the jubilant crowd and I think I spotted a twinkle in his eye. There could have been more goals because we were creating more chances and had more possession. Stoneham were well and truly beaten and the press got to work on their headlines ... here are a few:

NS Celtic thrash pants off sluggish Stoneham!
Vicar - goat - wombat love triangle!
Stoneham put to the sword by marauding NS Celtic!
Stoneham team bus gets pranged in rear!

Note that the second one is not real ... I think some Russian hacker got into my blog and ran amok.

The strategery didn't work ... we lost to Crapoli.

Crapoli are certainly not aptly named these days. The new Crapoli team is chock full of Brazilians and they are pretty useful. We fell behind from an early cracker of a goal from one of their forwards who was a giant fella. They equalized for us with a back header that went awry but then we made some mistakes at the back and they punished us thrice more. We lost the game 4-1 but the imbalance was not this big. We played well overall and had a good amount of possession ... a more accurate result might be 4-3 and one of those three goals should have been from the penalty spot. Please make a note that when taking a penalty it is best not to aim for the center of the goal at stomach height! So what went wrong? Well, I can tell you this ... it was probably something to do with the recent golf trip ... I've got my best man on the case.

Spring has sprung ... the 2018 season begineth

Game four against the Evolution.

It's the spring 2018 season and I have made a late start with the blog on account of an elapsed time deficit. This is what happened so far ... we lost, we won, we won .... but enough of these details ... I'm moving on to match four against the Evolution because Captain Flicky handed the reins to me and Caino so the heat was on and there were some big boots to fill and so on an so forth. It was also a big one because a bunch of nameless wankers shuffled off to Myrtle Beach to play golf (which is a very silly game by the way) and leave us in the lurch ... or so we thought? For the record, the nameless ones are Andy, Pat, Paschal, JB, Captain Flicky and Frank and they will be sitting on the naughty step (aka subs bench) to think about what they have done. Young Douglas Vigliolottalinguine also needs to park his jacksy on the bench because he was in Florida and I think he tried to get his small ball into a small and distant hole or two ... disgraceful.

On to the match ... Coggs in net, Lesly, Rob and Derek at the back, Boomer and Dori were the double stoppers, Sweney, Grubor and me in the middle, Caino and Wilberforce up front. Gilf and Blanchy were the subs. I know what you are thinking and you're right ... this is indeed a fiendishly clever line up. We were short handed and two chaps were carrying injuries but we played a blinder with only two subs. It went something like this ... we scored, they scored, we scored, we scored, they scored, we scored, we scored, they scored, we scored .... nine goals and we got six of them which means (and I've counted twice) that we won ... again! Caino (the scoring machine) bagged four and Grubor got two ... he should have had a hat trick but put a penalty the wrong side of the post although he did send the hapless keeper the wrong way. I have carefully analysed my match notes and it's fair to say that everyone played well ... we had most of the ball and put together some Barce-mid-season-esque passing that was quite pleasing on the mince pies. Despite the talent on the Evolution team they never troubled us. They were awarded a penalty somewhere along the way that "Coggs the cat" saved as usual. We retired to the parking lot to feast on bangers and beer in the cool drizzle ... the perfect end to a Sunday morning game of footy!

So how did we pull this off I hear you ask ... well the answer is simple ... strategery.